Frequently Asked Questions About Adoption For Birth Parents
Is adoption the right choice for my child? The decision to make an adoption plan is a personal decision and one that only you, the parent, can make. You are the only one who knows what is important to you and your child in planning your future and the child’s future. The adoption decision is unselfish and requires deep love for your child and respect for yourself
How do I tell the birth father that I am considering an adoption plan?
While talking to the birth father in person is preferable, if for whatever reason you are unable to do so, inform him as soon as possible via phone call or letter to initiate a conversation between the two of you as well as encourage his participation in the adoption plan. It may also be possible for your adoption counselor to inform him for you.
In whatever form of communication you decide on, it is important to be honest with him and as descriptive as possible. Explain why you are choosing adoption, why you believe that adoption is best for your baby, what the next steps of the adoption process are and what kind of relationship you are seeking with the adoptive family.
How much can I be involved in choosing the adoptive parents for my child? May I meet them?
Yes! You can choose to be very active or not at all active when choosing the adoptive parents for your child. Adoption Choice, Inc. encourages all of their expectant mothers to carefully review our parent profiles to select a family that matches exactly what you are looking for. You will be able to learn about each adoptive family and can spend time with them to get to know them. Or you can make your choice without meeting them. Open adoption in Wisconsin allows you to decide how open or how private you want your relationship to be with the family you choose.
What rights does a Birth father have?
The birth father has the same rights as a birth mother. If the birth father chooses, he can also receive birth parent counseling through our agency. The birth mother is required by the court to provide as much information as possible about the identity of the birth father so that legal notice can be given to him prior to the Termination of Parental Rights hearing. The birth father does not have to be present at any point. However, he will need to be legally notified. If he does not appear at the court hearing, and he has not declared paternal interest before the hearing, his rights may be terminated by default.
Will my child hate me for placing him/her for adoption?
A child who grows up with loving parents, a comfortable home, a good school and is provided with numerous opportunities is probably going to be a pretty happy kid. Why would this child have any ill feelings toward his or her birth parents for making such an awesome decision? Most adopted children love and respect their birth parents for the selfless decision they have made, which provided them with the best life possible.
Will My Child Have Access To Information About Me?
During the adoption process, the family you choose to parent your child will be given non-identifying information about you which includes: family and medical history, social history and background information. They will be given additional information according to your level of openness. In addition, as the child grows, the adoptive family will learn when and how to share this information with your child in a loving and sensitive way. They will explain the very difficult and unselfish decision you made when you decided adoption would be best for your child.
After your TPR hearing, you have the option of signing an affidavit giving the state your permission to release information to your child when they are old enough to receive it. Adoption Choice, Inc. will be able to assist you with this process and file the papers for you
If I do place my child for adoption, will the feelings of sadness and loss ever go away?
While every birth mother is unique and experiences the adoption process differently, initially there will be a sense of sadness and loss. However, as time moves forward, birth mothers who have placed their children for adoption have told us that feelings of loss will be replaced with joy, love, warmth, and security knowing that the adoptive family will provide everything you want for your child. You are able to look toward the future secure in the knowledge that you made the right choice for your child
What is TPR?
In Wisconsin, the procedure for permanently ending the legal relationship between parents and their child is called a Termination of Parental Rights hearing (TPR). This takes place in court, in front of a judge. The birthparent signs a petition that is filed with the court after the child is born. In the State of Wisconsin, this hearing usually takes place within 4 weeks after the birth of the child. Your adoption counselor will prepare you for the court hearing and will be present at the hearing.
What is Open Adoption?
Open adoption is an adoption which involves some level of initial and/or ongoing contact between birth and adoptive families, ranging from sending letters to exchanging names and/or scheduling visits after the adoption occurs. Most birthparents prefer this type of adoption.
How much does adoption cost?
Whether you are looking for information on the adoption process or considering placing for adoption, our services are completely free and confidential to birth parents. We provide options counseling to help you explore the decisions you have to make.
Will my medical costs be covered by the agency or the adoptive parents?
Usually medical costs are covered by your insurance. If that is not the case, adoptive parents may pay for your birthing expenses depending on the amount of the medical bills and the amount of expenses they are willing to pay for.
What about other expenses?
Expenses can be paid on behalf of the birthmother and child by the adoptive parents, according to adoption laws in the State of Wisconsin. This can include birthparent counseling, legal services, medical and hospital care, services provided by the agency in connection with the adoption, transportation costs, living expenses not to exceed $5000, birthing classes, maternity clothes not to exceed $300 or gifts to the birthmother not to exceed $100.
Can I have a relationship with my child and the adoptive family?
Over the past several years, adoption has become increasingly “open” in that birth parents have more opportunities than ever to continue a relationship with their child and the adoptive family.
If contact before and/or after the adoption are important to you there are many prospective adoptive families who are seeking the same level of contact with you. Contact with the adoptive family may include: email exchanges, pictures and letters and/or visits.
Adoptive families are as unique as birth families and may want the same amount of contact you are looking for. The choice is yours.