When my husband and I were adopting our daughter, school seemed far off, but even before we were placed with an infant, we had to think about what we would do when she was school aged as this was very important to birth parents. However, this is important to start to talk about when adopting or fostering a child of any age as things have shifted in schools and what worked for us as kids may not be as effective for the children we have in our care today.
Choosing a School that is a Good Fit
Though your local school may be convenient, consider if they are a good fit for your child. Do they offer support services that may be necessary in your situation? Do they offer adequate special education and mental health care and counseling? Is your child represented at the school? We take our child out of district for school mostly because we are a transracial family. My daughter is black and my husband and I are white. It is imperative for us that she be around other children and adults of color as much as possible and our local school didn’t offer that. She goes to school also with many students who have been adopted or are in foster care. This is helpful to her as well to have a sense of belonging. Though it can be tedious, it’s a good idea to do research and before even starting, making sure that you’re making the transition to school is easy on your child.
Prepping for School
Make sure that you’re aware what immunizations and vaccines are required before your child enters school. Though there are some exemptions, Wisconsin has changed some of its vaccination requirements. As a foster parent, you may be required to vaccinate the child in your care even if its against your personal beliefs, so again, doing your research is imperative. For more information about immunizations, you can read more from the CDC. It’s also a good idea to reach out to your child’s pediatrician and te school itself if you have questions.
For children that are apprehensive about starting school whether it be because they are newly placed in your home, are anxious about being away from home, or are unused to the routine and structure that awaits them, make sure to practice things that might alleviate these fears. My daughter, who continues to be very food oriented, was worried about finishing her lunch, so we set a twenty minute timer for her to practice. Administration is very considerate of children’s unique needs and likely will allow you to come to school early to see the classroom, and pay special attention to dates from the school system like kindergarten round up and back to school night so that students have more opportunities to meet school employees, teachers, and other students.
Don’t Worry; Be Prepared
Starting school can be just as hard for parents as it can for their children. (As the president of my daughter’s school’s PTO, I can tell you from experience that oftentimes, the parents have a harder time than the students, who are excited to spend time with new friends!) Make sure that you are adequately prepared. If you have a foster placement, ask about the background check policy (schools require adults in the building to have them) and if you are worried about a non custodial parent gaining access to the school, take time to speak to the principal and office assistants and see if you can meet with the school’s security officer. If you’re worried about your child succeeding, fitting in, and all of those things, schedule some time to chat with their teacher ahead of time, ensure that they have all of the supplies that they need to start of the school year, and have conversations with your child where they can ask you questions about school.
Overall, know that school professionals are trained to work with and support children with various needs. Your child isn’t the first adopted or foster child to attend that school, so make sure that you do all of the research you can and work with your social worker and those at the school to ensure a smooth transition for both you and your school bound child.