If you are seeking to build your family through adoption or are contemplating creating an adoption plan for your child, you’ve likely had conversations with your family and friends. If you haven’t, you might want to so that you can have all of the support that you need as you go through what can be a difficult and emotional journey for all sides.
Discuss things at Your Comfort Level
You don’t owe everyone all of the information. If you don’t want to share why you are trying to adopt or why you are thinking about making an adoption plan, then you don’t have to. Certain information is very personal and might be still raw or difficult for you to discuss. Don’t feel that you have to open up outside of your comfort level in order to get support. If you need someone to talk to about harder topics, you can contact Adoption Choice, Inc.
Value your Privacy and Your Child’s Story
From my own experience in being a parent by adoption, people, even those you might not be close to, are going to ask for details that really aren’t their business. Remember that this is your private information and your child has the right to tell his or her story at their own level of comfort when the time is right. This is information that they may choose not to share and in many cases, something they’ll have to talk about in their own time.
Educate on Adoption Process and Language
My pet peeve is when people use incorrect language about the adoption process–particularly when my daughter is pregnant. However, most of the time, it’s not because people have ill intent, but more often than not, they just haven’t had the education and have heard terminology incorrectly from mass media, etc.
To learn more about positive adoption language, click here.
This article contains a lot of resources about talking to children (particularly those outside of the adoption triad) about proper adoption language.
Don’t Hesitate to Reach out for Support
Going through the adoption process, whether you’re a birth parent or someone seeking to adopt can be challenging and can feel very isolating. Find people you trust that you can speak to candidly and who you know can help you navigate your journey. Sharing things with people in your circle now may seem hard, but if they know more about what you’re going through, they’re more apt to provide the support that you will need as you navigate this process.