When you first bring home your child post placement, you’re going to want to post about him or her right away on your social media accounts. This article explains the psychology for posting noting “when someone likes, shares, or comments on our posts, it acts as a form of social validation, making us feel acknowledged and valued.” Many of us have seen our friends and family post about their own children and if you’ve struggled to become a parent, it is normal to want to join the ranks of other parents and post your child–and you definitely can, but there are some things that you have to consider before you upload that album on Facebook.
Your Child’s Story is Their Story
Posting pictures of your child is one thing, but sharing his or her adoption story is another. People are curious and will ask you, and you may be able to share some things in person (as my daughter surpasses me in height at just ten years old, many people ask me how tall her birth parents are), it is important to keep these things off of social media. This is your child’s story to share as they see fit; not yours.
Protect the Privacy of Birth Family
Like sharing your child’s story, you should avoid sharing any information about their birth family. Though birth parents may be your friends on Facebook or follow you on Instagram, tagging them in photos, etc. probably isn’t appropriate. I do know many people that set up a private facebook page where their only friends are the birth family so that they can regularly share photos with them. If you plan to post publicly and they are your friends on social media, speak with the birth family about what they’re comfortable with you sharing and vice versa.
Use Privacy Settings
Consider setting up privacy settings. Be careful about who you friend and ensure that your friends list are all people you’re comfortable seeing photos of your child. Make sure to block anyone you would prefer not see them for whatever reason. If you are an influencer or a big advocate of transparency in your social media posting, this can be hard, but remember that what you post about yourself is fair game here, but you need to think about what is in the best interest of your child now that you are a parent.
Ask your Child What his or her Comfort Level is
If your child is older, you should start asking for permission to post and where you can share. As my daughter is a tween, she goes through phases where she doesn’t want her picture taken and then sometimes, she comes up to me in a new outfit with the dog in her arms posing and asking me to share it on Instagram. Speaking with them is important. Just as we don’t want anyone to post just any photo of us online, they should be offered that same consideration.
Share your Wishes with Family and Friends
If your parents or friends will be watching your child, let them know your social media policy. This goes for parents hosting playdates, parties, etc. It’s commonplace for many of us to post without always thinking what other people’s rules are because it’s become so “normal” in our culture to do this. An email or a text message ahead of time should suffice.
You can NOT post pre-placement
You might have seen friends who have adopted or have been fostering share photos with a little someone’s face blurred out. This is because it is not acceptable to post photos of these children pre placement. If you’re concerned about what you can and can’t do, reach out to your adoption agency for help navigating this.
We know that posting your child is showing your love for them, but remember that your parenting situation is different from others and it’s important to consider what is best for both you and your children.
Still have questions? Check out this dos and dont’s page.
