How To Work With Your Expecting Birth Father on Adoption

How do I tell the father of the baby I’m pregnant?

This can be a hard question to ask yourself and you might need to plan your conversation in order to feel comfortable and prepared. Your first step is to ensure that you have confirmed your pregnancy. While you have had some time to learn about your pregnancy and start processing it, the father hasn’t. If you tell the father and they are upset, happy, angry, or have a number of emotions, let them work through those feelings as you may have had to when you first learned of your pregnancy. While talking to the father in person is preferable, if you aren’t able to do so, inform him as soon as possible to start the conversation with him. If you are concerned about how he will react, you can choose to tell him over the phone or have a support person with you. It is important to be honest and as descriptive as possible. Explain why you are choosing to make an adoption plan, why you think it is the best choice for yourself and the baby, and what the next steps of the process are. You can also encourage his participation in the adoption plan. Our adoption counselors are here to help and can help you plan out your conversation to assist you with informing the father. In some situations, we may even reach out to the father on your behalf to inform them if you are uncomfortable or fearful of doing this. 

Do I have to tell the birth father I'm pregnant at all?

Fathers do need to be notified of your pregnancy and pending adoption plan as they also have rights. If you feel comfortable informing the father of your pregnancy and adoption plan, we encourage you to do so. In some instances, you may be fearful or uncomfortable having this conversation alone. Know we are here to help and can assist you in how to talk to the father about your pregnancy and make a plan for notifying him.

Can a biological father stop an adoption?

Birth fathers have the same rights as a birth mother. If the birth father chooses, he can also receive birth parent counseling through our agency. The birth mother is required by the court to provide as much information as possible about the identity of the birth father so that legal notice can be given to him prior to the Termination of Parental Rights hearing. The birth father does not have to be present at any point. However, he will need to be legally notified. If he does not appear at the court hearing, and he has not declared paternal interest before the hearing, his rights may be terminated by default.

Does the birth father have to agree to adoption?

A birth father’s rights can be terminated voluntarily where he can consent in writing to the termination of parental rights or involuntarily, depending on the circumstances. If you are concerned because you want to make an adoption plan and the other birth parent does not, or you think they may not consent, an adoption may still be possible. Your adoption counselor will walk you through the process and discuss your individual situation.

Does a biological father have rights after adoption?

Once a termination of parental rights occurs, birth parents no longer have legal rights to their child. The adoption agency will assume guardianship of the child for a short period of time in order to oversee them in their adoptive home and once the child has been placed for a period of time, the adoptive family will finalize the adoption and become the child’s legal parents.

Does the biological father have to sign adoption papers?

The birth father can consent in writing to terminate his parental rights or he can choose not to participate in the court hearing or process and have his rights terminated by default as long as he has been legally notified of the adoption plan and court hearing prior to.

A Quick Note About "Giving Up" Your Child For Adoption

Many use the term “giving up” your child for adoption. While this is a common term and something you may hear, keep in mind that you are not “giving your child up” if you make an adoption plan. Making an adoption plan is just that. You are carefully and lovingly considering all of  your options and making a decision to place your child with an adoptive family in a forever home. While many use the term “giving up”, we encourage people to say placing a child for adoption or making an adoption plan.

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